


The Decline

by dotheunthinkable



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Attempted Murder, Going insane, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insanity, M/M, Murder, OOC, Open to Interpretation, Possessive Behavior, Rape/Non-con Elements, This one will be rough
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:48:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27981045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dotheunthinkable/pseuds/dotheunthinkable
Summary: I should kill him, Kageyama thinks to himself. If he’s dead, he can’t leave me.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 4
Kudos: 77





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> Yo ~ DTU, here. Bringing you some pretty rough content. Heavy on the Angst, Indeed. Watch as our Kageyama slowly becomes delusional with his desires.
> 
> This chapter here is Just the opener ~ Please don't mind if characters are a bit OOC.
> 
> Go on, Read !

**Title** : The Decline

**Pairing** : Kageyama/Hinata

**Rating** : Mature/PG-15

* * *

**Summary** : Kageyama slowly loses his mind.

  
  


* * *

It starts off innocently enough.

Kageyama and Hinata have been dating for about a week now, after Kageyama finally, finally mustered up the courage to confess his feelings. Hinata had blushed – beautiful, adorable, cute, Kageyama had thought – and admitted that he felt a similar way. It hadn’t taken them long to figure out what to do after that, and their relationship is now progressing steadily and surely.

“I’m so glad your mine.” Kageyama whispers to Hinata as they’re falling asleep in one another’s arms one night. He runs his hand down the bare skin of Hinata’s back, across the smooth swell of his hip, overcome with the passion and tenderness so often felt by new couples. “I don’t want anyone else to touch you.”

Hinata laughs sleepily and nuzzles the crook of Kageyama’s shoulder. “You’re so cute when you’re possessive.” He says. Kageyama’s lips pull into an embarrassed smile, and his heart beats a little faster. He loves his Hinata. His Hinata. The idea still enthralls him. His Hinata. His, his, his. It doesn’t feel real. It feels like Hinata could disappear or be snatched away any second.

But it is real, Kageyama tells himself. Hinata is right here in his arms, warm skin against warm skin, not about to leave him, not going anywhere.


	2. One: The Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo ~ DTU, here. Got a bit antsy so decided to post the first official chapter. 
> 
> Well? What are you waiting for? Go On. Read!

**Title** : The Decline

 **Pairing** : Kageyama/Hinata

 **Rating** : Mature/PG-15

* * *

**Chapter Summary** : “It’s funny. I never really took you for the jealous type.”

* * *

Hinata has a friend from university who Kageyama doesn’t like very much. On the outside he doesn’t show this, because it’s Hinata’s friend and Hinata would probably be mad or sad if he found out. It's just that Kageyama thinks they're too close. Whenever they part, the friend always gives Hinata a goodbye hug that lasts a little too long. Whenever they sit together, the friend always seems to end up leaning against Hinata. Kageyama doesn’t like the constant contact between them. It makes him nervous. He knows he shouldn’t be, because he trusts Hinata, but he also knows that people can fall out of love and can fall in love with others.

So two weeks into their relationship, as they’re walking to the train station together, Kageyama casually says to Hinata, “Do you think your friend likes you?”

Hinata knows who Kageyama’s talking about, because the three of them had been hanging out today, and Kageyama had had to endure watching another too-long hug when it came time to go their separate ways.

“Hmm…” Hinata frowns and his eyebrows knit together. “You know… I’ve actually been worrying about that for a little while myself.” The words he uses make Kageyama feel a little better. Worrying implies that he doesn’t like the idea. Worrying is good for Kageyama, and bad for Hinata’s friend.

“Um, sometimes…” Kageyama says before thinking, and then feels silly, so he stops in mid sentence.

“Sometimes what?” Hinata asks, curious now. Kageyama shakes his head, wishing he hadn’t said anything.

“No. Don’t worry. I’m just being stupid. You’ll think I’m stupid.”

“I already think you’re stupid.” Hinata says, and grins at Kageyama with a playful expression. “You’ve got nothing to lose.”

Kageyama puts on a mock pout, but he actually feels better inside. Relieved, reassured.

“Sometimes, when you two hug… it goes on for too long, and I feel a bit… you know.” He says, hoping Hinata will understand what he means.

“You think so too?” Hinata asks, and he seems a little worried. “I sometimes feel like it’s a bit… well, it’s a bit awkward, I guess, but if I pulled away, that’d be even more awkward.”

Kageyama nods, happy he’s not the only one who's concerned. He gives Hinata’s arm a little squeeze, knowing that he can’t do anything more noticeable since they’re in public.

“If it makes you uncomfortable, you should say so. Then you’ll also give the message that you’re not interested in having that kind of relationship. If you’re friends, then you should have that kind of understanding, right?”

Hinata laughs and shakes his head, amused. “That’s such a you sort of thing to say. But I guess you’re right. I should probably be clearer about where my boundaries are.”

Their hands bump together as they walk, and Kageyama is glad that he finally managed to get the nagging problem out of the way. Now he can finally enjoy their relationship without this constant worry looming over his head.

At the same time he’s thinking this, Hinata says to him, “It’s funny. I never really took you for the jealous type.”

Kageyama lightly punches Hinata on the arm. “Shut up.” He says, slightly embarrassed, and they both laugh and let it go.

The truth is that Kageyama had never taken himself for the jealous type either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. My, oh my, How innocent is your jealousy, Yamayama-kun ?
> 
> Next part coming soon~
> 
> Read, Review, & Move On. :)


	3. Two: A Little Bit

**Title** : The Decline

**Pairing** : Kageyama/Hinata

**Rating** : Mature/PG-15

* * *

**Chapter Summary** : Kageyama feels a horrible, overwhelming feeling that makes him want to grab Atsumu and punch him in the face.

* * *

A week later, it’s Hinata’s birthday. Atsumu gets ridiculously drunk early on in the evening, and drapes himself across Hinata’s lap while Hinata’s sitting down on his couch.

“It’s so sad that Hinata doesn’t have a girlfriend to celebrate with.” He says with an alcohol-induced loudness. Hinata ignores him, but Atsumu just assumes he hasn’t heard and keeps repeating himself until he gets a response.

“I don’t think Hinata really cares.” Kageyama says lightly, trying to lessen the uncomfortable atmosphere a bit. But Atsumu won’t have a bar of it, and looks up at Hinata with impossibly wide eyes.

“But it’s more fun to celebrate with a lover.” He insists, struggling to get up. Then, “I know! I can be your girlfriend for the night, Hinata. Do you want me to be your girlfriend? I can be Atsuko-chan for you if you like.”

Kageyama starts to laugh, and wishes he had a camera to take a photo of Hinata’s dismayed face.

“I’m actually… just fine with you being Atsumu-san, to be honest.” Hinata says hastily, but Atsumu looks at him with a big fake frown.

“You’re always such a terrible boyfriend to me, Hinata.” He speaks in a high tone and feminine language, obviously determined to be Atsuko whether anyone else wants it or not. “Are you just grumpy tonight because I haven’t being paying you enough attention?”

“Uh… No?” Hinata tries. He’s never been good at dealing with drunken people, and Kageyama’s too amused to help him.

Or at least, he is amused until ‘Atsuko’ snuggles up close to Hinata and plants a big kiss on his cheek. And even though Atsumu stumbles away right afterwards, laughing to himself about what a hilarious prank he’s just played, Kageyama feels a horrible, overwhelming feeling that makes him want to grab Atsumu and punch him in the face.

It goes away quickly when he sees how mortified Hinata is, but his mood is still sour for the rest of the evening until all the guests finally get up to leave.

After telling Hinata to go to bed, Kageyama starts to do a little bit of tidying up so that they won’t have as much work to do tomorrow. He figures he’s up to it, since he’s mostly sober. He hadn’t felt like drinking anything after the incident with Atsumu, because it was hard enough to act cheerful and smile as it was without alcohol getting in the way.

Once he’s done enough cleaning to make sure they don’t get a nasty shock when they get up in the morning, he starts to head to the bedroom.

He’s a bit startled when he finds Hinata standing in the doorway, waiting for him.

“I thought you were in bed.” He says, and Hinata shakes his head.

“I want to talk to you.” He replies, and then before Kageyama can ask about what, Hinata pulls him into a hug, and cradles him softly. “I’m sorry.”

Kageyama hugs back, but can’t help but feel bewildered. “Why are you sorry?” He asks, stroking Hinata’s hair, wondering what could be upsetting him on his birthday of all days.

“The thing with Atsumu,” Hinata explains. “I can tell that it was troubling you. I could see it in your face.”

Kageyama is taken aback. He thought he’d hidden it pretty well, but obviously Hinata knows him better than that.

“No, no, no, Hinata.” Kageyama whispers in his ear, and then kisses his neck. “Don’t be sorry. It was really nothing. I just didn’t like seeing someone else kissing you like that, but now I’ve got you to myself again. It’s okay.”

He feels Hinata nod against his shoulder.

“Let’s go to bed.” Kageyama says, pulling far away enough to give him a kiss on the lips. “You can have the birthday present that I couldn’t give you in front of everyone else.”

That makes Hinata crack a smile. “Whatever could it be that you couldn’t give me in front of all those other people?” He asks, already knowing fully well.

When they get to Hinata’s room, Kageyama shows him.


	4. Three: Swirl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo ~ DTU, here. If it wasn't obvious in the beginning then I Just wanted to clarify something. This is based around the Japan National Olympic Team (So the characters mentioned will be from the official roster). Well, anyway, more from me later!
> 
> Go on. Read!

**Title** : The Decline

**Pairing** : Kageyama/Hinata

**Rating** : Mature/PG-15

* * *

**Chapter Summary** : Kageyama just wants it to end . . . anything so that Hinata wouldn’t have a reason to put his hands on him anymore.

* * *

Kageyama and Hinata have been dating for almost a month when it’s decided that the team will play a practice match with a nearby university. It’s hard for Kageyama to stomach their practice beforehand because, as usual, Atsumu cons Hinata into doing his hair for him so he could look “cool”. It had never bothered him before, but then again, they hadn’t been dating before.

Maybe that’s why, for the first time, Kageyama notices the way Atsumu’s eyes close as Hinata’s fingers brush against his scalp, and how he leans back into Hinata and makes little sighing noises. It feels like Hinata is betraying him by doing this. He wants Hinata to take his hands away from Atsumu. He wishes that he was the only one that Hinata would touch with those fingers.

It’s excruciating, having to standby through all of it. He wants to turn away, but he can’t, because something worse could happen while he isn’t looking.

Kageyama just wants it to end. He’d like to cut off all of Atsumu’s hair or snap his delicate swan neck, anything so that Hinata wouldn’t have a reason to put his hands on him anymore.

It’s relieving when it’s over, but Kageyama is so shaken up by the whole ordeal that he performs very badly. Everyone notices, and Atsumu even has the nerve to ask him if he’s okay.

‘It’s your fault. I hate you. I hate you, hate you, go and die.’ Kageyama thinks, and he’s astounded by the sheer scale of his emotions. On the outside he fakes a smile and thanks him for his concern.

“I’m fine.” He says. “I guess I’m just having trouble getting into the swing of things.”

Atsumu – Atsumu who until very recently he’d used to admire to bits – nods, and pats him on the back. Kageyama wants to tell him not to touch him, not to come near him.

“That was pretty bad.” Hinata tells Kageyama once they get back to his apartment, and Kageyama sighs.

“I know.” He says. “I guess I was distracted or something today.” He doesn’t tell Hinata why. He’s not sure that he’d be so understanding this time, so he lets the issue slide when Hinata offers to cook him dinner to make him feel better.

“You’re becoming so domestic.” Kageyama chuckles, gradually feeling his tension begin to melt away. Atsumu isn’t around, and Hinata is babying him, which he enjoys on the rare occasions it happens. Hinata draws the line at feeding him his dinner once it’s ready – “You’re stressed, not ill. You can still hold the chopsticks by yourself” – but Kageyama doesn’t mind too much. As long as they have their time alone, that’s all he needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks for the kudos/bookmarks and to softpetals for the first review~ Love ya to bits ! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.
> 
> I'll post another part later.
> 
> Read, Review, & Move On. :)


	5. Four: Together

**Title** : The Decline

**Pairing** : Kageyama/Hinata

**Rating** : Mature/PG-15

* * *

**Chapter Summary** :  it’s getting more and more difficult to spend time away from Hinata

* * *

“You should come home once in a while.” Kageyama’s mother says to him over the phone one day. It’s almost been 40 days since he and Hinata started going out, and he hasn’t had dinner or slept at his house for nearly two weeks. It’s funny, because everyone has always complimented him on how much he cares about his family. Kageyama’s not sure what’s changed, or when it happened.

“I will soon.” He says, but he knows he won’t. He doesn’t want to leave Hinata alone. Kageyama trusts Hinata, but when they’re not together at night he gets lonely, and it hurts a bit. And even if he trusts him – and he really does – there’s still this nagging feeling in the back of his head when they’re apart that Hinata could be with someone else. Someone who he liked more. It was a frightening thought.

Hinata doesn’t seem to mind all the company. “Why don’t you just move in with me and be done with it?” He says one day, never one to broach these topics romantically. Sometimes Kageyama suspects he can’t because he’s too shy. To him, it’s one of Hinata’s cute points.

“If you want me to, you can just say so.” Kageyama teases, a deep chuckle passes through his lips when Hinata glares at him.

“I figured that you were the one who wanted it. Half your belongings are already in my apartment, so you practically live there anyway.”

“Say, ‘Kageyama, will you move in with me?’ It’s not that hard.” He keeps teasing, and Hinata sighs.

“No, seriously. Do you want to?”

Kageyama nods, not thinking about his family for a second.

It’s easier saying goodbye to his mother and sister than he’d thought it would be. It helps that they don’t really live that far away, and that he’ll be able to visit if he takes the train, but Kageyama had thought it would be harder. Maybe it’s just because he really wants to live with Hinata. His apartment already feels more like home than this place he’s called home for much longer.

The idea of waking up with Hinata every morning and going to sleep with him every night really appeals to him. It’ll be much easier to keep track of one another too, which he especially likes because it’s getting more and more difficult to spend time away from Hinata. He wishes they could be together 24/7, but that would be both inconvenient and impossible.

Once all his stuff is properly moved in, the two of them spend the rest of the day cuddling on the couch, and Kageyama doesn’t think he could possibly be happier.


	6. Five: Grit

**Title** : The Decline

 **Pairing** : Kageyama/Hinata

 **Rating** : Mature/PG-15

* * *

**Chapter Summary** : He pictures himself tackling Hoshiumi off the stage, watching as he falls to the floor, imagines the satisfying crack that would result when his head collided with the ground.

* * *

The day before the Volleyball Monthly Special recording marks a month and a half since the two of them first got together. It’s not really a lot of time, but to Kageyama it feels like forever. Maybe it’s because they’d been friends for such a long time before their relationship evolved into this. It’s hard to tell.

He’s still thinking about it during the recording, and Aran accuses him of being spacey. The audience full of girls laughs, but he barely notices. Seems as though Hinata is all he can think about these days.

He gets up to go and prepare for his segment with the reporter while Aran chats with Atsumu and Hoshiumi to fill in time.

Once they start, Kageyama forces himself to concentrate on the questions he was being asked, and he tries to keep from looking at Hinata, knowing what’s coming next.

He’d managed to do it during the last two practices when he heard about their planned stunt, but somehow today he can’t tear his eyes away, and ends up watching the whole time that Hoshiumi and Hinata perform a short routine, their hips moving together in lewd patterns that resemble something other than dancing.

Kageyama grits his teeth and keeps a well-ingrained smile on his face, doing his best to remain professional as the corners of his lips twitch in protest. It’s just work. It’s just work. Just work. Work. Work.

He pictures himself tackling Hoshiumi off the stage, watching as he falls to the floor, imagines the satisfying crack that would result when his head collided with the ground.

Of course, Kageyama doesn’t actually do that. He does briefly let his fingers brush against Hinata’s wrist when they move past each other and the girls in the crowd notice immediately and scream. Such a tiny gesture, yet it had elicited the same amount, if not more, of a reaction than the stunt had. Kageyama feels victorious, and wants to gloat to Hoshiumi about it, tell him that he’s won, but then he realizes that Hoshiumi won’t care. Hoshiumi was just doing his job. Hoshiumi was just having fun. To Hoshiumi, this means nothing.

It makes Kageyama feel a bit better. He’s already suspicious of Atsumu and the feelings he may have for Hinata, and he doesn’t need Hoshiumi added to that list.

Hinata is a little mad, and he lets him know about it once they’ve showered and changed and are in Kageyama’s car, driving home.

“You mustn’t do things like that.” He says, unsmiling and serious. “You know that our relationship has to stay a secret. If anyone finds out, and I mean anyone, we will be in trouble. You know that, don’t you.”

It’s not a question, because Kageyama does know it. He wants to say that he couldn’t help himself, and that he just didn’t want Hoshiumi of all people to get the better of him. Instead he says, “I’m sorry. I got a bit carried away.”

Hinata sighs. “Just don’t do it too often. Once in a while as a little extra service for the fans is okay, but anymore than that and it’ll get suspicious.”

Kageyama nods, and concentrates on driving. Inside, he’s a mess. He wonders if Hinata would feel this way if it was anyone else. If it was Yaku, he wouldn’t mind. He’d probably love it if it had been Atsumu. Anyone but me, Kageyama thinks bitterly.

‘You’re being silly.’ He mentally scolds himself. ‘Hinata’s just doing his best to look out for the two of you. You don’t have to worry.’

But he is worried. He just can’t help it.

“I’ll cook dinner tonight if you want.” He suggests, trying to distract himself.

He sees Hinata smile at him out of the corner of his eye, and then everything is back to normal.


	7. Six: Brush

**Title** : The Decline

 **Pairing** : Kageyama/Hinata

 **Rating** : Mature/PG-15

* * *

**Chapter Summary** : He takes to smudging his makeup whenever he has the chance, just to make her spend more time on him, just to try and keep her away from Hinata.

* * *

After a grueling practice, they find out a week later that the release date for their next international commercial will be in a month. It’s shorter notice than usual, but they’ve been commissioned to do it by a company who is releasing a new brand of sports drink. Their plan is to market it heavily towards middle and high school aged students, and a major part of that scheme involves Japan’s National Team advertising it in the upcoming commercial, complete with a new song as the BGM from a popular group.

They begin shooting for the CM long before the song is completed, and Kageyama knows that the project is going to be hell, right from the get go. One of their make-up artists is a young woman, obviously single, and instead of taking interest in Ushijima or Bokuto like most other girls, she clearly latches on to his Hinata. Kageyama can see it in the way that she touches him. He isn’t sure exactly what it is about how she does it, but it’s just different from what she does with everyone else. She spends more time with him, too, laughing and chatting away until Kageyama wants to scream.

He takes to smudging his makeup whenever he has the chance, just to make her spend more time on him, just to try and keep her away from Hinata.

She’s always pleasant to him, and he forces himself to behave cordially back, even though what he really wants to do is grab the makeup brush out of her hand and use it to stab her eyes in. Then he’d ram it down her throat until she choked to death and could never flirt with his Hinata again.

“Do I have something in my teeth?” She asks while she’s fixing his foundation. Kageyama snaps back to reality, and the pale, blue-tinged asphyxiated face from his imagination melts away.

“I’m sorry, was I staring?” Kageyama asks, flushing red under his makeup. It frightens him that he’s been caught, but from her smile he doubts that she knows what he was thinking.

“It’s okay.” She says, and seems to go a little pink. Kageyama doesn’t notice.

“I think the makeup artist from today likes you.” Hinata tells him that evening, as they brush their teeth together.

Kageyama chokes on his toothpaste. “You’re kidding!” He says, once he manages to spit everything out into the sink.

Hinata shakes his head. “I’m serious. It’s not surprising, given all the time she has to spend with you, fixing you up. Clumsy.” He adds the last part on fondly, and Kageyama grins at the floor, a little embarrassed by the affectionate tone of his voice.

“I think the makeup they use makes my skin itchy.” He lies smoothly. “I keep rubbing at it without thinking first.”

“I've noticed,” Is the dry response. Kageyama’s not sure when Hinata stopped being able to tell when he was being honest and when he wasn’t. He just knows that he’s been getting an awful lot of practice at deceiving him lately. He feels guilty, but it’s probably better that Hinata not know the truth. He doesn’t want him to know about who the makeup girl is really interested in. It’s best not to put any ideas in his head, after all, even if he does trust him not to reciprocate her affections.

As they say, better safe than sorry.


	8. Seven : Thought

**Title** : The Decline

**Pairing** : Kageyama/Hinata

**Rating** : Mature/PG-15

* * *

**Chapter Summary** : “Kageyama…” He begins slowly, “If I had wanted to date someone who PMSed, I would have gone out with a girl.”

* * *

Exactly a week after they finish filming for the first CM, they shoot another commercial. Kageyama is not impressed. It feels like everyone but he has been lead to do fan service with Hinata. They’re barely even in any of the same shots, let alone touching. It makes him angry and frustrated, and he cries to Hinata about it later. Hinata is bewildered.

“Kageyama!” He says, in a disbelieving tone. “What are you getting so upset about? It’s just work, it means nothing. You never had this problem before.”

What Kageyama can’t believe is that Hinata doesn’t have a problem with it.

“But it’s like they’re saying we don’t look good together.” He says, and his voice is getting perilously close to a whine. “I thought everyone thought we were a good combo, so why aren’t we in the same shots?”

Hinata sighs and shakes his head. “Kageyama, you’re being silly.” He says firmly, ever the reasonable one. “What happens in these Video Shoots doesn’t depict what happens in real life. You’re upset over nothing.”

“But I don’t like all the others touching you!” He blurts out before he can stop himself.

Hinata looks at him incredulously.

“Are you stressed or something? It’s just work. It means nothing. You know it means nothing.”

Kageyama feels like crying, because Hinata doesn’t seem to care.

“It means something to me.” He finally says, in a small voice. Hinata shakes his head.

“Kageyama…” He begins slowly, “If I had wanted to date someone who PMSed, I would have gone out with a girl.” He must have seen the look of fear on Kageyama’s face at the mention of dating someone else, because he quickly continues, “But I didn’t, because I want to be dating you. Only you. And you should know that. I don’t know what you’re so worried about.”

Kageyama looks a little despondent for a while, before he nods.

“I know.” He says, but he doesn’t actually. He wonders why Hinata can’t seem to understand his point of view. “I know, I’d just… just really like to do some scenes with you for a change.”

Hinata sighs again. “You can do whatever you like with me once the filming is over.” And then he blushes, realizing the connotations of what he’s just said. It’s so adorable that it almost makes Kageyama forget what they’d just been arguing about.

Almost.

They work all day playing volleyball, from dawn to dusk, and manage to get about half of the shots for filming done. Kageyama and Hinata are so exhausted, they can’t manage to do anything once they get home aside from grab a quick bite to eat and fall into bed. Hinata falls asleep immediately, but Kageyama finds that he’s unable to do the same.

He watches Hinata in what little dull light manages to filter into their room, studying his sleeping face. He looks peaceful, and Kageyama wonders, had their positions been reversed, if he would look quite so serene. His sleep has been troubled recently, and he’s finding it quite hard to get through a whole night without waking up.

He knows it’s because he’s so worried about Hinata. How can he not be, what with Atsumu hanging all over him, and everyone from team but him allowed to run their hands over him in public? How can he not be, when all the women working around them try to flirt with him and ask for autographs and take him away from Kageyama? He can’t help it. After all, what if Hinata suddenly decides he likes one of them better and leaves him? They’ve been together for 2 months now. 

What if he’s tired of Kageyama?

The thought chills him to the bone, and he can’t find any comfort in Hinata’s innocent, sleeping face.

‘I should kill him.’ Kageyama thinks to himself. ‘If he’s dead, he can’t leave me.’ And then he’s disgusted with himself. He loves Hinata. He loves Hinata so much that sometimes it makes his entire body ache. He’d never do him any harm; he’s meant to take care of him.

But the idea is in his head now, and he can’t unthink it, no matter how much he wishes he could.


	9. Eight : Tripping

**Title** : The Decline

**Pairing** : Kageyama/Hinata

**Rating** : Mature/PG-15

* * *

**Chapter Summary** : He waits until she’s walking back with the stack of books she’s just taken off Hinata’s table, then sticks out his foot.

* * *

A week before another routine practice match with a prominent team, the commercials are aired. Kageyama doesn’t watch the whole thing in full – to him it’s like clothed pornography, with a bit of dancing and music and everyone’s hands on his Hinata, touching him in ways that shouldn’t be allowed on public television – but the feedback from fans seems to be generally positive, and Kageyama thinks that even they’ve turned on him. They’re meant to support the KageHina combo. After all the stupid, humiliating promotional material they’ve done for their amusement, that’s the least they could do for him. But they’re not even doing that.

Kageyama hates them all. They’re so capricious, each and every one of them. They’d fall over themselves if given the chance to sleep with even their least favorite member.

He doesn’t want to go on all the upcoming programs to promote anything, have to look at all their faces and smile while they scream and stare at his Hinata, undressing him with their eyes, wanting to do ungodly things to him whenever he rolls his hips or makes a move.

It makes him sick.

He wishes they could just stay home in his room, safe from prying eyes and home-wrecking girls and teammates, but he knows they can’t. He knows Hinata wouldn’t agree, no matter how much he cried and pleaded, so he doesn’t try.

Kageyama has started calling Hinata at random times whenever they’re apart. He always comes up with excuses as to why he’s ringing. Sometimes it’s groceries. Sometimes he lies that he can’t find his key, and asks Hinata to tell him where to look. Sometimes he can’t think of an excuse and just says, ‘I miss you’.

Eventually, Hinata gets frustrated.

“Kageyama, you’re getting ridiculous. Tone it down. It feels like I’m dating a particularly overbearing mother.”

Kageyama is hurt.

“I’m not being overbearing!” He insists. “I just miss you. Is that not okay?”

He hears Hinata sigh through the phone. He’s been doing that a lot lately. “It is okay, but I just… can I please have a little bit of emotional space? Please? It’s not healthy for us to be in contact 24/7.”

Kageyama is silent for a while. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone.” He says, and hangs up before Hinata has a chance to respond. He waits with his phone, thinking that maybe Hinata will call back and comfort him, but he doesn’t. It’s like he isn’t even important.

Could Hinata be cheating on him? Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want Kageyama calling him all the time. He could be interrupting something that Hinata doesn’t want him to know about. 

Kageyama swallows. He has an interview today that he’s supposed to be at in half an hour, but it’s far more important that he check on Hinata and make sure that nothing bad is happening.

He knows that Hinata has free time today, studying Portuguese in the library, and so he begins the trip over there. He turns his phone off eventually because he’s getting distressed calls from his manager that he doesn’t want to answer, and Kageyama knows what their manager is like.

He won’t understand that this is more important than work, so he won’t even try to explain.

Kageyama creeps into the library, trying his best to remain inconspicuous, and sneaks around to try and find Hinata. He finally spots him studying at a table by himself. Kageyama is relieved. 

Hinata is doing exactly what he said he’d be doing. He’s not sure why he doubted him in the first place, and Kageyama thinks he’ll watch him for just a little while longer and then leave.

Then a woman passes the spot where he’s hiding behind a row of shelves, and walks up to Hinata.

“Can I take these books?” She asks, and Kageyama sees Hinata look up at her and smile.

“Sure. Thank you.” He says, and the woman smiles back at him.

Kageyama clenches his fists.

Is Hinata cheating on him with the librarian? That must be it. There’s not really any other place where he spends time away from Kageyama, so if he’s cheating on him, it must be with the librarian. Kageyama wants to teach her a lesson for trying to steal his Hinata, just to prove to her that she can’t get away with it. He waits until she’s walking back with the stack of books she’s just taken off Hinata’s table, then sticks out his foot.

She trips over it and falls, hitting her face against the ground with a satisfying thud. Books go flying all over the place.

“Oops, I’m sorry.” Kageyama says, even though he isn’t. He doesn’t feel guilty at all. Any pain she might be feeling could only be a tenth of the pain that she’s causing him.

Then he hears, “Are you alright?” From behind the shelves, and sees Hinata getting up so he can come over and help.

Kageyama panics and flees. Hinata can’t see him here. He receives a few strange glances on the way out, but no one tries to stop him.

He only stops running once he’s far outside the library’s boundaries, lungs burning for air and legs aching.


	10. Nine : Distance

**Title** : The Decline

**Pairing** : Kageyama/Hinata

**Rating** : Mature/PG-15

* * *

**Chapter Summary** : If he kills Hinata, no one else will be able to have him. Kageyama would die too, and then Hinata would never, ever leave him.

* * *

Kageyama isn’t too worried about the library woman anymore. He taught her a lesson, and doubts she’ll try to come near Hinata again after that. Not if she knows what’s good for her anyway. What he’s worried about now is the upcoming birthday party for their manager. The last time Atsumu had been around Hinata with alcohol involved, it hadn’t ended too well. Kageyama watches Atsumu like a hawk the whole time, and is unhappy with what he sees.

Atsumu hugging Hinata. Atsumu with his arm around Hinata’s shoulders. Atsumu sitting next to Hinata and falling all over him.

Kageyama wants to punch him. Punch him until his nose breaks and his blood spurts everywhere and the bone pushes up into his brain and kills him. He grits his teeth and clenches his fists and tries to control his anger.

Kageyama spends the rest of the night pushing drinks on Atsumu, and by the time the party is nearing its end, he can barely stand, barely walk, and his speech is slurred and backwards.

“I’ll drive him home.” Kageyama offers, kindly playing the designated sober driver.

It takes Aran, Yaku and Kageyama to haul the half asleep, giggling Atsumu to Kageyama’s car. 

They put him in the back seat, because it’s easier, and then Yaku and Aran bids them both good night and goes back inside to rejoin the others. Atsumu is already asleep, head lolling against the window, and Kageyama can’t help but think how easy it would be to throw him out onto the ground and reverse over him until every bone in his body is broken.

Instead, he starts driving. Atsumu doesn’t wake up when the vibrations of the car start, and he hardly stirs for the entire trip.

Kageyama feels himself growing more and more resentful with each sleepy murmur and each adorable little movement Atsumu makes.

He’s so handsome, so alluring, and Kageyama can see how easy it would be for Hinata to fall for his charms. His anger and hatred culminate once they arrive outside Atsumu’s house. This guy is trying to steal his boyfriend, and what does Kageyama do? He goes out of his way to drive him home. He does him a favour.

In a fit of rage, Kageyama gets out of the car and opens the back door. Atsumu is still asleep, and doesn’t stir when Kageyama wrestles his shirt off, over his head.

He rips it into shreds, then uses one strip to gag Atsumu and another to blindfold him. The rest, he uses to bind his hands together.

Atsumu grumbles, slowly regaining consciousness due to the rough treatment, but he’s still too sloshed with alcohol to realize what’s happening.

Kageyama imagines that he’ll figure it out very quickly though. He pulls off Atsumu’s jeans and presses his hand to the back of his neck, forcing his face down into the seat. Atsumu struggles, but his movements are sluggish, and any words he says are rendered incomprehensible by the make-shift gag in his mouth.

Kageyama rapes him.

It’s rough and dry, and he feels something tear as he forces his way in. Atsumu writhes and screams into the cloth in his mouth, but he’s powerless to do anything. As Kageyama thrusts in and out, it gradually begins to feel slicker, and he knows that Atsumu must be bleeding.

This is how you make me feel, he wants to say. This is what it feels like when someone takes away something precious to you.

When he finishes, he pulls out, opens the door and roughly pushes Atsumu out onto the road.

He doesn’t wait to see what happens; he gets back into the front seat and drives off. Kageyama feels satisfied the whole way home, for teaching Atsumu a lesson. For letting the spoilt brat know he can’t always get his own way.

It’s only once he gets home that he starts to worry. Did that count as cheating on Hinata? 

Kageyama isn’t sure. He had no intention of cheating, didn’t fuck Atsumu with the intention of it counting as cheating. It hadn’t been about love or lust, it hadn’t even been about sex. It had been about power, plain and simple, but would Hinata see it that way?

Kageyama can never tell him. He wouldn’t be able to bear it if he lost Hinata over a misunderstanding like this. No, Kageyama will have to keep it a secret. He immediately goes to the shower, knowing that he must smell like blood and sex and fear.

Kageyama washes it all away, and when he crawls into bed, he feels a lot better.

Hinata arrives home a little later, and cuddles up next to him, still too cheerful from the party to be mad that Kageyama forgot to come back and pick him up.

“Hey you.” He murmurs, snuggling up against his back. He sounds both drowsy and satisfied, two things that Kageyama can relate to right now.

“Hey.” He says back, and grabs Hinata’s hand.

It’s been quite a while since he’s felt at peace like this. They fall asleep in that position, and for the first time in weeks, Kageyama sleeps the whole night through.

His new found serenity doesn’t last long though. By the very next day, while Kageyama is lying in bed trying to psyche himself into getting up, he starts wondering what happened at the party while he was gone. Did anyone touch Hinata? Did Hinata touch anyone? There’s no way for him to know. The question troubles him for the whole morning.

He’s even more troubled once he and Hinata get to the gym. Atsumu is there, looking worn and tired, but there none the less.

It surprises Kageyama. It makes him wonder if what he thought he did last night really happened. It seems awfully blurry in his mind today. He clearly remembers leaving the party and driving Atsumu home, and he remembers taking a shower and climbing into bed, but the part that happened in the middle feels a lot like a dream.

When they’re getting changed to practice, Hoshiumi gasps.

“Atsumu, your knees are all bruised!”

Atsumu laughs and rubs the back of his neck.

“I fell over on my front steps last night when I was trying to get inside.” He says, and he sounds like he’s being sincere. It doesn’t seem like he’s making excuses to cover up something he’s ashamed of. Kageyama is confused and a little unsettled.

It doesn’t help that Hinata is being all withdrawn today. He claims it’s because he’s hung-over, but Kageyama doesn’t believe him. He must have done something last night that he’s feeling guilty about and doesn’t want to tell him.

He manages to hide his doubts well enough, giving Hinata a kiss on the forehead when they’re not in public and cooing at him to feel better soon. But inside, Kageyama is a brooding, worried mess. 

He can’t handle it if Hinata’s cheating on him. If he’s cheating, that means he’s not happy with Kageyama. And if he’s not happy with Kageyama, that means he might leave him. He spent so long without Hinata, wishing he was his, worrying someone else might snatch him away before he managed to admit how he felt, and Kageyama couldn’t stand going back to that. It would hurt so much that he’s not sure he could survive it.

That night as they lie in bed, Hinata breathing softly in his ear, Kageyama wonders who he’s dreaming about. Is he dreaming about Kageyama, or is he dreaming about someone else? Someone he likes more? Kageyama knows he’ll never be able to see inside Hinata’s mind, and so he’ll never truly be able to know what he’s thinking. The idea tears at him so much that his previous fleeting thought from the other night returns.

If he kills Hinata, no one else will be able to have him. Kageyama would die too, and then Hinata would never, ever leave him.

He takes a deep breath and sits up in bed. There’s a big knife in the kitchen that they use for cutting meat that he'll go and get. He’ll use that, he thinks, to slit Hinata’s throat.

But as he moves away he accidentally jostles Hinata, whose eyes open although he’s still half asleep.

“Tobio…” He says softly, calling him by a name he never uses when he’s awake. His fingers seem to be searching for his boyfriend’s, and Kageyama’s heart melts. He forgets what he was about to do, and slips back under the covers. Hinata’s fingers come to rest limply on his forearm and Kageyama smiles at him tenderly.

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meri Kuri !

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go ! A fine preface ~ Don't be fooled, though. This is only the beginning. Fufufu. I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors you come across!
> 
> Anyway, Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed! Leave a comment down there, and I like kudo's sprinkled on my daily bowl of cereal. (=ﾟωﾟ)ﾉ Next chapter will be posted soon!
> 
> Read, Review, & Move On. :)


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